Time with the sun. 20231217.

A window on my bedroom's right Its curtain, a measuring device Let's through a falling pillar of light
Another in the room, a river of smoke Chasing, silent, transparent strokes Until boldly colliding with the pillar, on its path home
I watch it thin as the sun goes down For all the minutes I've watched it drown Into the shadows, I'm worried now
I may yearn for the lost rays, More time with the sun, more time in a day, Its next visit will not be like today

Judges for the mob. 20240122.

I don't know what's right or wrong. I suppose someone in this world does Or a lot of people do and they have built The chains that lead us. They have their reasons, Uglier than the truth, "This is how it is" they tell To the elephant in the room. Each an avatar of the whole Mob, each an authority alone Responsible for shaping the very world They claim has turned them into its clone. ... Imagine what it must be like for the police to patrol processions. A seat of power responsible for maintaining peace and calm, yet so afraid. Saw a few of them on the road today.

Year end restless. 20221227.

Perhaps the final minute will think best to no more question The year may yet depart as it passed, in colorless quiet Like all his brothers, slow and fast, come since some age before him Or for worse, choose petulance to disagree with death.
Regardless, another year's athirst, restless.

All, everyday. 20231220.

Bikes and cars rush by An endless stream of wheels Often a truck mixed in the tide A bishop in the stampede Each in a struggle perhaps Not all their destinations reach One more bloodied in the same fight Is an insect crossing the street

Outside. 20231202.

I went outside to go outside, Forgetting the weight of the world That would make me hide inside Where I was comfortable For deep within an even bigger fear Won against the calm "Nothing stays," it says. "My dear Blink and it'll be gone."

Prisoners each. 20221225.

Can you see your prison Staring through the clear crystal glass As you brush in morning Hoping you've pushed again life back
Can you see the prisoner His past screaming, scribbled on the walls Fingerprints where his desperation stuck Frozen loudly on the metal bars
Can you see the life sentence Every deal made for commutation compromised The noose ouroboros, yet undead hope, Inevitably demonized

Should I be tired? 20230918.

It's such a chore to seek out the truth, Could the job not have been easier? Must I bend, break my head, pull at that hangnail To find out the answer, Could it not have been written on the wall Or hardwired in this head like so many of my faults? Only now I have to survive this easy life Feed my low key desires, then take them out for a walk.

Already June. 20230603.

It seems it's taking me longer to wake up Now that it's already june I sleep to the sound of subtle raindrops That from the open window enter the room
When it's morning what do I find out? A chill has seeped into my sheets I stretch, my body dramatically arched To seize all, not an inch is missed
Least the delayed sunrise arrives To a steal a beautiful day Leaving me with the old routine From the tyrannical regime of May

Prometheus. 20230216.

Titan rebel doubtless odd Prometheus scourged ceaselessly without Rest-you who's heart til the last edge brims Having mocked the thunderer gods on a whim
Stolen fire for a new desire To mold iron, crowned over mortal dreams Hail Prometheus - Titan higher Then all the other false kings

Glass oceans. 20221212.

(Plain white t-shirt, shorts and an endless expanse)
Perhaps we go to the oceans sad I pick a pebble, heavy as if it had The weight of my blue world
I take the pebble to the oceans (a different blue) I drop the pebble underneath (now blue) to Die the outside reality closer to my hue, but it doesn't.
Against the loud thud of my pebble The oceans are silent, unperturbed, (what is a rebel's Claim to the old, old god of goblins)
(Next)
I claw at the sand (time) I demand every grain be still (mine) To sort, love, treasure as if silver dew
Wooed, held on the curve of a leaf A gibbous of a world made just for me Perfect.
(Enter wind, change, another tick)
Tok, the dew globe plops Many a grain filter, drop From between the crevices of innocent flesh
(Quest)
Are there more minutes in my brain Or more pieces in the sand, grains Of liquid gold, trapped in the great hourglass

Adhura Irada. 20210821.

ये कैसी धिमी बातें ये कैसा मधम इश्क़ बस इतनी हे दोस्ती कितना खीचोगेह
तुम बीच सड़क ना भिगो सवान में मैं घर के अन्दर भीगूं बिन बारिश है साथ यहीं तक का कया थमा हाथ चीर के लेजाओगेह
हां हो गई लापरवाहीं रेह गया अधूरा इरादा बस इतनी हे दोस्ती छोड़ो अब कया काम ज्यादा
जो रात गई सो बात गई अब ढल गए चांद सितारें जब हर किसी को अपना सही तो किसको कमज़ोर बताओगे
बस इतनी हे दोस्ती कितना खीचोगेह जो एक तरफ से छूटी हाथ मसलते रह जाओगे

Our top-tens. 20210726.

Does it feel like it has been years, Can we really count time If the passing minute of a loved smile is measured In only infinities combined
Perhaps the time we spend away or together Can not be determined
We can't keep all of it forever A part is bound to be left behind Nor can we help but treasure The top tens, repeat, hit rewind
I won't mind the lost hours however So that we know where to find
Here's to save the feeling, preserved outside grey matter For when we miss again, A timestamp snapshot designed to trigger The greatest hits of a dearest friend.

The left behind little else. 20210327.

It's the little things you don't see, You miss, that slip, Make you a mess and big. The little things you're used to, Make up and shape, and in a dress. The little things in a breeze, Your walk and your touch. Whatever it is that smells so good That which is all that's left When you leave.

Duplicate hearts. 20201118.

Luckily we have a counterpart of us Of the prerequisite of all intellect; The central core of our brilliant minds, Locked out and lost, of our modern heads.
We need it primarily When our world is much to take Alone, in absence of its company we question if we made a mistake.
In giving up this part of us We traded for our precious thoughts Which we seek often, so desperately Now in the companionship of our beloved dogs.

The god of jitters employed. 20201102.

I set about to tempt fate An artsy envelope, concealed in my arms Beside an immortal ready to roll the winged cube of chance.
I sit upon the old brick wall in wait Near, a billboard towers screaming, "man And his dream, held in his palm."
I share my companion's gaze. "Of the hundred ways possible" I ask, "A few must surely favor this impatient task?"
"Hush the heads, we better make haste," Amused in nervous giggle she replies, "Here I cast the dice, our culprit has arrived."

I knew you, I can again. 20200522.

It dawned on me perhaps you have changed Since last we talked together How you may have had adorned a new skin Wore new shades of silk and leather But only for a month did this thought lay Behind a new first encounter For perhaps who I knew in her voice remained Ruffled beneath the fluttering of her new feathers

Tell tale heart. 20200327.

Have you heard the whispers Often, drumming deep within Just as soon turned ghosts When paid close attention They, in their last breaths, though echo, Urging after even death, A doubt if, "What you miss the most Are the dead men in your closet!"

When you get a black eye. 20191122.

Whenever I feel like shit I put on clean bed sheets And suddenly the world is all right
For about a good moment Even if the room still needs cleaning I've bought a little more time
But you can run out of clean bed sheets And you don't see it coming until it hits You straight in the eye

Silly woes. 20190903.

It is a spring evening, the sun has surrendered arms A little sun-light that could has stayed in living room And the bedroom; the rain is beating in a wild chorus The song is of a solitude that rids the soul of forces That crowd and bring a man down! Rejoice be uplifted Spring has, alas reborn, the winter's toll accepted It rewards with its beautiful flowers, the wet breeze will tell you so I would go see their happy faces, if I could conquer my bed of silly woes.

The long hours and the gap in a loop. 20190806.

It is in the gap between the long hours, you don't know what to do. There is a sure need, a desire, you can't put words to. You spend said gap in trials and errors, hoping you'd get The correct feeling required to quench an underlying fret. You try everything you like, all known recipes for happiness, You take a swing at the odd side, go with the spontaneous. Yet nothing fills the void, you're exactly at the start Where the gap began to toy with your tired heart. The indifferent clocks keep ticking, you don't feel time at all move, Until it's another beginning, of the quick long hours and the slow gap in a loop.

Clover. 20190728.

I call a honey bee clover I met her in February She was the sweetest, a child of summer Brave against the winter breeze In love with a wild flower Bud, frail against the cruel season It was for him, sweet clover Would brave the setting sun
Each day with the morning birds She sang their breath-filled anthem Brought in her delicate swirls Blessings and enthusiasm From the pockets of the god of youth And from Aphrodite herself Most beautiful of all the summer kisses To delivered upon him her spell
I watched her for a whole season Her punctual love and care Many a friend flowers of hers Watched in bewilderment, scared But clover never once worried A day, nor the late hour the bud woke up From the depths of his lengthy slumber And at last met his luck
I had never seen a spirit more happy Then the blessed wild flower Nor a maiden as mad and blushing as the bee At any other life's hour For about a whole spring week That stood as long as a year Clover and her wild flower Had made a heaven here.

Replay. 20190703.

Everyday a letter was taken over to tomorrow Words felt overthought overnight after night Ink left fresh for a fresh start un-borrowed Pieces of paper turned airplanes in flight
Everyday the morning would come On a schedule ring the same old alarms Somewhere in between would once again be gone A just as old reminder unable to perform
Yet again afternoon had rushed to save hours With short lived morning sympathized Took on the burden of the un-blamed powers No one knew, governing everyday strife
It too having lost, did pass the baton to the final night Walking shy and young hand in hand with his lover, the beautiful evening. But before the two were bold enough in love to write Big brother old Darkness took over, replayed life, smiling.

The captain announces. 20190404.

The mind is always quietly working Busy managing the machinery of its ship, Has not often the time to think of promises made Until a grave storm's about to hit.
Which makes the impatient passengers doubt The surety of their destination And if it really will be within the limits Of their decided approximation.
"To all the passenger dreams promised," The Captain announces, "We regret, it's not quite certain."

Ringtone before call. 20181014.

We talk of old things, each almost a lie, Think we might understand each other's eye
We haven't seen; but surely voice has sight To imagine a soul, in thought lookalike.
I wait for any hour, any chance I can guess More of the soul dwelling beneath the human vest.
I know at worst this is temporary, if history would repeat itself And each as others but a story, loved a little less
As time chases eternity; we might as well Lose love, and have to seek affection, somewhere else.

Are you asleep? 20190520.

I watch the city blocks sleep The fruit bat's yawn end in a sigh A few trees are yet not quite But prepare to bid goodbye The stars are already high beyond reach To stay undisturbed underneath a dark sky.
But what of those who cannot sleep Within long and lonely hours Too accustomed and dependent On a comfort sourced afar I bet they need a company More than a dim lamp jar.

Onward. 2016XXXX.

I think of her as I was hers And suffer the laugh of time For he is wise and knows the joke That men, foolish as I name hope.
Not once, not twice, not thrice! he knows Time and again, the same story sways Men and women, in love and in lust, dance Together and crime together —romance Is the devil’s new game.
All of this trickery, mockery, Fuckery, I do not mind. For there is someone I care for enough, Who’s love I must now go and find.

"Nameless here for evermore." 20181225.

Where do you come from nameless sadness To seep into my hours To fill these eye-cups, that now hurt less When they listen to this heart?
Faceless shapeless, shrouding all Today holds dear and must save, You, needing neither welcome nor call Come to comfort but enslave.
What must I do to break the pact You keep with unsettling times, Though you appear to act on peace Why then do you hide your crimes?
There is little I can to help a ghost Who has forgotten his face. You who has no memories, yet cost Me a good happy day.
Show me your face, tell me your name So I could help you and me. You mustn't linger this often each day Lest you lose importance, turn commonly.
Come now sadness take a grave Find another haunting hour For presently I must be at peace Much greater things await.

Remember me. 20190202.

I am still the same flower With still the same need A few months already expired Yet the season humbly keeps That he and she may still admire My colors before they leave But if I'm lost to some deadly hour I wish they until eternity tires

NYE. 20181231.

I watched the little hills dancing Quite frozen in awe I swear the sun too was in a frenzy Out early before the dawn In all the universe surely This had had to be a flaw But my head high and happily fuzzy Didn't mind any of it at all When we danced with the hills on the new year’s eve Slept with the grass as floor Blessed by the sun and its bonfire's heat Deep in the December cold Heart to heart and hand in hand each Talking of the year lost and old Old days when we were easy to reach And our world, much easier to hold.

Someday somewhere surely. 20181107.

Time is not what it used to be, we are flying creatures Chasing dreams ceaselessly, manufactured by the world.
We don't get to be as close as we'd like with hearts not as big as they used to be, And there are already new inhabiting people.
But we can live without a place in our hearts, we have roots that go deeper, We can be apart, forgotten in the moment, because we have a permanent place in the past.
We are not the memories easy shadowed, in the light of brighter beginning, Not a story living in old pictures or in new music, waiting.
We are birds of a feather, children of an old tree Where we have a place to be together, free of time and circumstance, in a quiet dream.

Hey. 20180830.

There are things in my nights I cannot see Though in my days I see to much, Of which do I little can keep, Yet miss what the nights don't give up.
If I talk to you tonight Will you listen to what I have to say? It's been ages and I don't think ages Took some things away.

The last hour before midnight demanding. 20181123.

Tomorrow will be the day for change, I am tired today I'll be the best I can be, the person who knows the way To his dreams. I will no longer count the hours Time will know he is not stronger if I have cowered. Tomorrow will be the day I will wake with the morning sun Be a start, take on the world as only a new man can. I will know the calculated end, chase it as have the other birds Go to see the whole world, as dreamt, word by word. Though I wish I had let today, live happily a last day But thinking about tomorrow, I'm tired today.

This heart. 20181002.

It is not in the busy hours It has any freedom But the lonely and in idle Time, it is most troublesome.
Half asleep otherwise It is not fully aware Which how best he is As he then cannot much care.
Only now is an ungodly hour And I unfortunate indeed; Awake, weary of sleep, my heart Is not where he wishes to be.

Without despair. 20181021.

A have a guardian angel of woe Watching over me He collects my due of sorrow Pocketing it in black memory Only when I have been too happy Will then he a little share Out of his enormous collection A carefully measured handful spare So I am never lost to sadness Nor ever in happiness corrupt Living a life in measured scales Between the two, in his trust Devoid of bliss, far from infinite joy Safe from maddening grief and

If you're happy and you don't know it, without this self help poem with a shitty title. 20180726.

If you're afraid of it, what's great about life is, sometimes you don't even realize you're happy. It's downright unbelievable how many times we see the people we'd rather not. This world is too fucking crowded to get away from anything, and the truth is, It's never a good feeling to be always running around. It's better to stay, high, better not wait for anything to be alright cause you might just want it too much And waiting will only make it seem that much longer, might make you anxious, make it much harder than it could've been. I personally find it simpler and less complicated to not try and force anything. I figure it out only if I must. I'll never really rely on it but I have some trust in the universe because what's great about life is, sometimes you don't even realize you're happy.

"Just a little love." 20180713.

How we can talk for hours on hours, How we keep getting through, How which though kills so many, Can leave us but empty wounds, Though we may each time be scarred How there is never an open wound, How we are broken often apart And each time we are stronger anew Is how, though we may never together start To love each other, I know, I have loved you.

Not mine. 20180530.

I saw the happiest flower Hanging on a windowpane, I stood there for a while To steal some of her happiness; I thought it had worked When I was happy with her But when I left I knew, I will never be as happy again.

The call. 20180211.

I see you in your pictures every now and then. They seem to want to say so much. It's likely I couldn't hear it anyway So I don't ask, you don't say
But some people have a space in your head Reserved; you unintentionally fill up. It's where I keep these pictures whether or not we talk. They still say nothing, just want to.
Today is the 1st. I know I was to call you at the start of the day But I didn't want to be the first. That is for somebody else so I waited.
Now five hours later the morning has come, It woke me up with an expected urgency. I find you on my phone with a blank log The last call, this day last year probably.
I press call and the dial tone is nostalgic.

So don't look at me. 20171209.

I don't think you wanted to be a moth with wings. We were good as worms looking For our chrysalis, free of sins, Eating dreams and innocent, little things.
Until we learned of the world.
We had no need to fly, no need to win, No desire to take the one time only chance to change And lose ourselves, in the name of sacrifice and growth. Be better and worse and not just good.
Be someone else.
A moth, stern, winged, strong and understanding What she was now, and was not.

Old flower. 20160617.

Of all the beauty in this garden I know hers to be best by far Because unlike all the others She is without poison for a flower
And I'm glad I found her so early In the budding stages of our lives When there were no hidden colors To our petals or spines knife-like.
Though now we have new pigments Above the old, for the front Deemed more suitable for the world That may fade or wither with the sun,
You’ll find upon a closer look Light or not, come summer or frost Her old colors unchanged, Her heart absent frown.

Do you hear? 20180616.

Would you want to disappear, The guarding woods have asked The reality you resent so much, To stay out of its grasp,
Behind the wall you think you know Of life other than yourself, Full of secrets, you have walked past through, Yet never felt compelled,
From the great vast halls of earth Where large and small, Strange gods have lived for years
In greatest kindness, Their many open arms, Have ever called you here, but.

Choice cowardice. 20180531.

Shut behind a broken window From a world, not mine I fear, a glance, a look That may tempt a mind, Its own hands and feet, Its own heart, to find Far from the place of its birth A curiosity for another time.

The ones you'll never get. 20180130

The best people are lies you create in your head from what little you have of them, treasured, and glorified to fill the remaining pieces you'll never get.
And you love your lies, beautifully.

Split love. 2017XXXX.

Some nights I lay awake late Trying hard not to make them about you. To not pick your knife and betray a good day But what's a broken man to do?
The very knife I keep close. Under the pillow or in a pocket always; To remind and keep away at bay If what happened once happens again.
Most nights aren't the same though. Most nights are easy to get rid off, With another early start, or a tired day's reward. But my love for a night isn't all lost.
My love for nights I left with you, love To love them like I would, At nights stay awake late, when I don't, That way let them feel loved, as we could.

Do you? 2016XXXX.

I remember a world, When not everybody was fragile Though everything did hurt us We were up again in a while.
We didn’t care for things little like love Or hate, judgment or prejudice. We were careless and kidding Our reward was only joy.
When not every step we took Was towards a great future Or away from another friend As our hearts grew mute further.
I remember a world When I lived not for myself Nor for the next day Nor for the next year.
I lived for those around me In their joy, I found myself. If we were kids, the world surrounding Would be a happy playground, still.

I Have. 2016XXXX.

Been staring at my phone longer than I need and have as often, stumbled upon our last memory.
I have it here before me framed for display, an edited ill ending I otherwise couldn't change.
Hoping that you'd get me through this picture portrayed, That holds the part of me, words would betray;
As I find myself wondering an already half murdered thought: If it was your turn to message and question "missed me?" and mine to reply with a "not a lot!"

On a good night. 2016XXXX.

I could sleep on the thought of you welcome what nightmare there be and wake with glory, of the morning knowing I had you, and no need of a dream.

This is how it's gonna be. 2014XXXX.

for you who thinks you're scary cause you can live alone. Baby let me tell you I’m worse, a creature of mad hope: So you can be the lone wolf spreading terror and awe and I’ll still be standing here were last we, each other saw.